Strange Attracts

What are we comfortable with? We are comfortable with what is familiar to us. We sit with friends with whom we can chat freely or make fun of. We are secure in our known company and environment.
But wherever we are, there are strange objects and people and we get attracted to them. Why? Because it is something or somebody completely new or strange from our regular company. We tend to get attracted to them. We hardly make a point to speak or interact with these new person because we feel that they have something very unique that attracts us.
It is natural that we have both realities. One is familiar and the other is strange and we are more interested in strange because it challenges us at one point and make us special. We become an object of attraction and we too get attracted to the strange. To go behind a strange goal or person begins with interest or passion to come to be familiar with and comfortable with the strange over a period.

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Does change hurt?

“Immediate response to any form of change is NO or NOT NOW.” Why is it so? What prevents us from accepting or following it. There are various reasons.
We are being brought up in a particular faith, tradition or society which shapes our life. We become masters of the norms and guidelines set by the society or family. The norms becomes part of our daily routine and we are happy to be in that set up. When there is a change or an event which is new or different from these set norms it affects. We tend to react initially and it takes time for us to accept or agree.
After having completed Masters in Chemistry, I went to my home town for fifteen days. As I was chatting with my uncle and aunt, their daughter Monica said, “Dad, I am in love with my colleague in the college and I will only marry him.” My uncle was angry and shouted, “NO! You marry the boy we choose. We are brought up in Catholic tradition and our family members will laugh at us. You will destroy your life so forget about him and concentrate on your study.”
My uncle did not accept because it was something new for him. It did not happen in family earlier, we were brought up in arranged marriages and parents used to select our partners. But Monica decided to marry the boy so she often used to share about her love at table. Gradually, uncle began to realize what Monica was speaking, made sense to him. He began to accept and tried to convince our family members. After a year of Monica’s motivation, her love marriage was accepted and marriage was in our church. Now, we have six members of our family married their love whom they discovered in their college days.
Of course, it is one of the examples and there are many other we experience in our daily life. Our initial reaction is not acceptable. We gradually begin to learn and adopt to the situation and say that it is for our betterment and our society.

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Special Moment

Having special moments in life build our strength and love for similar experiences in life. These moments are special because it touched our core. They are the driving force for us as we encounter unexpected situations. I had such a experience today. I long to have such a experience again because it challenged my presentation, hard work and gave me some practical learning aspects.
What was that? As part of the public speaking course, we (27 seminarians) were given two topics to prepare for a panel discussion. It was conducted at Xavier Institute of Communication, Bombay. I also prepared some points and was praying that I should not be called to present my views among the panellists. It was because I was nervous of the crowd and stage fright.
What do you think, would have happened? My name was announced and I was shivering and was negligent to go but I went. The tutor encouraged us by giving us some ways to present and be comfortable with what to say. We were three panellists and a moderator.
What do you think, my experience would have been on the stage? I was nervous and not confident in the beginning. The words were not flowing. I could not properly convey my message to the panellists and the audience. As I was about to settle down, I was asked to speak on unexpected questions which I had not prepared myself to respond at the spur of the moment. I began gradually to build confident and was able to look at the audience and the panellists. I could realize that I was comfortable with the stage fright and the topic. I could respond to people as they put across questions.
The experience was special and memorable. As I was remembering those moments, I came to realize that by practice and having many stage performances or discussions, I can improve upon my stage fright and other difficulties that I was going through. This moment taught me that I could do and build on my speaking. I came to realize, “Hard work and practice do not go waste but enrich my talent and personality”. Continue reading

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Are You Special?

Do you think that you are special and have unique identity from the rest? If so, what makes you special? You have something which gives you identity. When you are among your friends, family members and classmates, you realize that you are different.
When I was doing my graduation, a professor posed a question to the students, like whom you want to be if God gives you an option? This question triggered me. After the class, I came home but the question was pestering me. I looked at the mirror and said that I would choose ‘ME’. I prefer people to recognize me as I am and remember me as I am.
What is special in Me? It’s simple: the way I behave and come across to people. I make a point to look at me on the mirror praising me physically and mentally. I love to admire my body and thank God for it. I do appreciate me when I do good and encourage me when I fail. I begin to realize that I have a unique way of behaving with people and doing my works. I am creative, hard working, sincere and many other qualities.
You have special qualities in you that makes you unique from others and only you know what you are good and not so. Be special for by aspiring to be somebody else, YOU cease to be. Admire and love yourself because you are special.

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Dare to write

To dare to write and tell the world that I am unique is challenging for it takes courage.

I was brought up in a context where I hardly had an existence in our society. We were poor so had to work for our living. Our society labelled us with what we could do and were capable of. This attitude made me to distance myself from the society. I had low self-esteem, was afraid of the crowd and had inferiority complex.
I joined the Society of Jesus where I had many opportunities to open up myself. I loved reading and came to realize how people live in a society. I had ideas, stories and life experiences to share with people and learn from them yet I faced inferiority complex.
To share my ideas, stories and life experiences, I need to motivate myself to write and publish in the internet. I often had questions: Will people accept me? Can I be able to convey my message to the readers? or am I a good writer? I was motivated with my own thoughts that I am good and I would try my best to speak to people and share my experiences because my ideas and experiences are unique and have unique identity. With this note, I begin to write and share my experiences of life. It gives me satisfaction because I am growing as opportunities open up.

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Healing our brokenness

  • Human beings suffer from many stages of our lives beginning with childhood, adulthood, youth, working places, old and death bed. We suffer emotionally due when our plans do not work or failure in study and many other instances. These brokenness have been suppressed and being part of our life. How can we heal these wounds? Is it easy to look otherwise a situation? Is it possible for us to change our own perspectives and heal my brokenness?
    Yes. It is possible to change or heal my brokenness. I take a situation in which a friend betrayed my trust. I have shared with him my personal experiences, trusting him that he would keep my word but he opened up my trust to others. Now I am hurt. How can I forgive him? How long shall I remain thinking of those ill feelings? For this situation I propose the following method which is the best way of healing my wounds and reconciling with him.
    The procedure is as follows:
    1.Aware of my brokenness:
    Human beings are busy with so many activities and emotionally involved with many people. Many a times a disappointment is escaped from my life. Therefore it is important for me to be aware or conscious of what makes me sad and disappointed. Being aware of that I am sad or disappointed is the first step.
    2.Finding the cause:
    After having conscious of my disappointment, there is a natural urge in me to find out the cause. Am I disappointed due to myself, my parents, friends or others? After a long search I come to realize that my friend is the cause because he betrayed my trust. Thus the image and act of my friend disturbs me.
    3.Accepting the situation:
    After having found the cause of my disappointment, I try to accept the situation as it happened. The moment of betrayal, the involvement of my friend and me and our deep sharing, I accept all these as it is. This is for we are deeply involved sharing our experience. Acceptance of the situation plays key role.
    4.Thanking God for the situation:
    After accepting the situation, I thank God for those moments and experiences of involving the knowledge of coming to know myself and friend better. The negative side of a friendship, human imperfect and other aspects shaped my experience positively and negatively to this experience.
    5.Asking God for Grace to reconcile with my friend:
    Once I have accepted the situation and thanked God for the negative experience, I ask God to help me to accept my friend and courage so that I can speak to him. Bringing God as the master of the situation plays key role in healing my wound.
    6.Reconciliation:
    I go and meet my friend with open heart, sharing my brokenness and my feeling of his betrayal. I listen to his sharing, response and accept him as he is.
    7.Submitting my being to God:
    After having reconciled with my friend and situation, I submit my entire being to God. God is the master of my being. He wants me to go through certain experience, future is not in my hand so trusting in God and accepting realities as it appears to me. Thus I place my trust in God which plays a prominent role in an individual’s life to accept any situation in a better way.
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Hoping to be out

  1. ‘Hurry up! No.658, hey you Johnson! Water the plants’
    ‘Doing Sir’
    ‘You have to do it quickly, it’s not your office’
    ‘Surely’
    Walking around the garden and watering the plants and after his work, he looked at the height of the prison wall and building, he neared his prison cell and sat in looking at the garden. Suddenly, he heard somebody calling him.
    ‘Mr. Johnson, said the jailor, somebody wants to speak to you on the phone.’
    ‘Who would call me now?’
    ‘Hello!’
    ‘Hello Mr. Johnson Raju Rodrigues! It’s me Nikita, (Assistant Manager) your beloved! How is life? Missing you Johny! Come back soon to the M.J. Bye, hope to see you soon!’
    The bell rang for the mid-day meal. Johnson followed the line as other prisoners did. He took the food, sat under a Rain tree and was looking at the dal and rice. As he took the rice in his hand, he thought of Janu. Johnson and Janu were lovers from their college days in Bangalore. Janu was from a poor family, studied well but could not continue her study lack of finance. Johnson promised to marry her after getting a job. Janu’s family agreed. Johnson and Janu were in touch with each other on the phone. After completing higher studies, Johnson got a job at M.J. Group beginning as an employee, he had reached the position of the Manager of the organization.
    As a Manager, he married Janu and they got two children Jemerlin and Jenith and both are studying in a school in Bangalore. He remembered how they would each their food, sitting together in their home and enjoying with each other.
    ‘Hey Johnson! Eat, said no. 688, thinking of the past and regretting about it now, is part of our life in the prison’
    He started eating the food and he spent his time by speaking with others. Three months passed, he hardly sensed a sign of his release and got no visitors. One fine day, as he was digging a pit in the garden, there was call for him.
    ‘Mr. Johnson! There is a phone call for you from your beloved’. Now he guessed that it might be Nikita because she already called him once and no guess of Janu since he used to call her once is two months and he did not want her to know of his imprisonment. He held the phone:
    ‘Hello Johny! It’s me Nikita, It is to give you a news. Your wife called from Bangalore since your mobile is in the Manager’s office, I picked up and told her that you are out for an important project.’
    ‘Thank you! Hey Niki! Any idea about who is the cause of my imprisonment, is it Anuradha?’ Said Johnson’
    ‘It’s not yet clear’
    ‘The management proposed my name to be the next Manager if you do not get released so you try and I’ll also try for your release, said Nikita’ and she kept the phone down.
    He trusted Nikita more in the matter of his release yet there is a discouragement. After speaking to her, he was down and walking slowly thinking of his life. Who would understand me? Why am I in this condition? I spoke everything that happened in the company to the President of the company, Mr. Paul Raj that I was targeted and I did not do any mistake.
    As he walked, the jailor met him and said, ‘What happened Mr. Johnson you are more down after the phone call?’ but he kept walking. After the dinner, prisoners went to sleep but Johnson was sitting under the Rain tree looking at the moon and his mind was in the company as the Manger.
    He was thinking of how Mr. Paul Raj praising him for a couple of times for his hard work, honesty, approachability, loving and love for the betterment of the company. He knew that I did not do any mistake yet he could not control the situation. Now my name, fame and work are taken away and I am unable to speak to my wife and children and I do not have anybody who would fight for me. He also remembered Nikita saying to him, ‘You are only for me if not, you are for nobody.’ And I told her about my marriage to Janu and my children. It was Anuradha who accused me of sexual harassment but how to prove that I did not do anything to her and since most of the women staff supported her including Nikita, I was removed from my post and put in jail. He was confused and went to sleep in his cell.
    Next morning the jailor gave him new clothes and Mr. Matthew, the driver of the manager car drove to the company. As soon as he reached, he went to meet Nikita in the Assistant Manager office to thank her for helping him to be released.
    But she wasn’t there. There was Anuradha appointed as the Assistant Manager and he inquired about Nikita. She said, ‘Nikita was the main cause for your imprisonment. She and I were in the same college as you and Janu were but we were in a different class. Nikita and Janu were friends and Nikita liked you so much but Janu entered your life. Therefore as you were working in the company as the Manager, she wanted to possess you. She began to love you and tried to come closer to you because she used to say, ‘Johnson is only for me’. Since you did not receive her as a lover, she began to take revenge by spoiling your career. She threatened me of spoiling my career if I did not accuse you of molesting me. Now she is jailed and you are back.’
    Mr. Paul Raj embraced him, assigned him as the manager of the company.

Continue reading

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