Healing our brokenness

  • Human beings suffer from many stages of our lives beginning with childhood, adulthood, youth, working places, old and death bed. We suffer emotionally due when our plans do not work or failure in study and many other instances. These brokenness have been suppressed and being part of our life. How can we heal these wounds? Is it easy to look otherwise a situation? Is it possible for us to change our own perspectives and heal my brokenness?
    Yes. It is possible to change or heal my brokenness. I take a situation in which a friend betrayed my trust. I have shared with him my personal experiences, trusting him that he would keep my word but he opened up my trust to others. Now I am hurt. How can I forgive him? How long shall I remain thinking of those ill feelings? For this situation I propose the following method which is the best way of healing my wounds and reconciling with him.
    The procedure is as follows:
    1.Aware of my brokenness:
    Human beings are busy with so many activities and emotionally involved with many people. Many a times a disappointment is escaped from my life. Therefore it is important for me to be aware or conscious of what makes me sad and disappointed. Being aware of that I am sad or disappointed is the first step.
    2.Finding the cause:
    After having conscious of my disappointment, there is a natural urge in me to find out the cause. Am I disappointed due to myself, my parents, friends or others? After a long search I come to realize that my friend is the cause because he betrayed my trust. Thus the image and act of my friend disturbs me.
    3.Accepting the situation:
    After having found the cause of my disappointment, I try to accept the situation as it happened. The moment of betrayal, the involvement of my friend and me and our deep sharing, I accept all these as it is. This is for we are deeply involved sharing our experience. Acceptance of the situation plays key role.
    4.Thanking God for the situation:
    After accepting the situation, I thank God for those moments and experiences of involving the knowledge of coming to know myself and friend better. The negative side of a friendship, human imperfect and other aspects shaped my experience positively and negatively to this experience.
    5.Asking God for Grace to reconcile with my friend:
    Once I have accepted the situation and thanked God for the negative experience, I ask God to help me to accept my friend and courage so that I can speak to him. Bringing God as the master of the situation plays key role in healing my wound.
    6.Reconciliation:
    I go and meet my friend with open heart, sharing my brokenness and my feeling of his betrayal. I listen to his sharing, response and accept him as he is.
    7.Submitting my being to God:
    After having reconciled with my friend and situation, I submit my entire being to God. God is the master of my being. He wants me to go through certain experience, future is not in my hand so trusting in God and accepting realities as it appears to me. Thus I place my trust in God which plays a prominent role in an individual’s life to accept any situation in a better way.
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About Jaya Singh T

I am a Jesuit
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